"If you need to know... I'm trying to save the world."
I'm Carol Danvers, but you probably know me as the superhuman Kree warrior, Ms. Marvel, and right now... Proud to say, still an Avenger. A wise man once told me, "Once an Avenger, always an Avenger." The wise man was Steve, of course.
I have a cat named Chewie (Yes, I'm a nerd. She honestly looks like Chewbacca though) and I'm not gonna lie, I'm a food junkie. If you wanted to know more about me, feel free to check out my files
I've been through a lot in my life, from fighting off a Skrull invasion to a little bit of getting myself killed here and there, but I've always got time for a chat if you're up for it.
The New York skyline was blanketed with deep grey clouds. It seemed too perfect that they would fall on the day in which the Avengers had to say their final goodbyes to their fallen comrade. Atop a small hill within Cypress Hills National Cemetery, a flag draped coffin lay…
Pepper slipped silently into place beside Tony as Bobbi finished her succinct eulogy. Sitting amidst the intimate group of the deceased Agent’s teammates, the svelte woman felt more than a bit out of place. However, she maintained such a meticulously graceful posture that her unease was barely visible. Truth be told, her exterior visage during the funeral would most likely later lead Tony’s partners in crime to wonder whether or not she had actually known the deceased man at all, mistaking her poise for insincerity.
She glanced at the grim and gaunt faces of the men and women whose eyes were glued to the understated yet tasteful casket, carefully avoiding Tony’s gaze. Although this was a part of Tony’s life in which she had not yet been able to totally immerse herself, but she had been somewhat acquainted with Clint Barton. Thus in the short moment when her eyes met Rhodey’s in the crowd, the sudden rush of familiarity coupled with the plain grief resplendent upon his face almost overwhelmed her. The sorrow visible only in her eyes was completely honest as she bowed her head slightly in recognition of her friend’s pain before finally resting her gaze upon the solemn casket.
Pepper never wondered for a second whether she should or should not say anything to Tony; she knew that her silent camaraderie would speak more than her words ever could. She simply sat in silence, grieving imperceptibly for the injustice and untimeliness with which an acquaintance’s life had been taken.
Tony was there. That was the most he could say, he wasn’t giving the eulogy himself because he didn’t feel like it was his place. He was the reason the rest of the team was grieving, after all. He had been so foolish. The if’s started taking over, filling his mind with what could’ve happened had he tweaked the situation any one bit. His head fell downward after Peter’s speech, his name dropped in it made a pang of guilt flush inside his chest, and it only intensified as Peter’s eyes grazed him. He could feel the weight on him, whether it psychosomatic or not.
His mind started to lurch, and he felt sick again. Realization sinking in once more that all these people were gathered to mourn someone he had killed. He murdered Clint Barton, be it by accident or not, it was his technology that had ended his life. The urge to turn and flee was almost irresistible, and as he turned his head to begin his walk of shame from the ceremony, there was Pepper.
She always knew just when he needed her, and he offered her a low smile, lacing his fingers with hers and staying his ground, turning back to look at the ceremony itself.
Carol was seated on the other side of Tony, her hands clasped around each other on her lap, tightening slightly as Peter started. Her eyes locked onto him, and she listened with utmost intent as he said his piece. But perhaps she was also just avoiding looking at the casket too long. Perhaps she knew it’d be the sight that would strike through her like a knife through butter. It’d be the sight that would render her into a heap of sobbing mess.
The last funeral she had attended, she attended with Clint. They grieved together and cried together. And now she was here today. Clint was here. But he was in the casket this time. And Carol felt suddenly so alone as she realized that this time, the only person she would be able to cry with on the way home was herself.
Bobbi had just finished her piece, and Carol’s eyes grew a heavy look as they watched her friend drown in her grief. That was almost the last straw that also sent Carol into a crying frenzy, as she feared. Not only having lost Clint, but seeing her friends in such pain…
She grit her teeth inside, her lips pursing as she finally held her head up to look ahead. Finally, her blue eyes fell onto the casket, and for a moment, she thought she was actually going to be able to hold herself together. But she was wrong.
After merely moments that her lingering gazed rested onto the casket, she had to lower her head, feeling the tears swell up. As her eyes dampened, she lifted a hand to hold over her face and… And she finally managed to let herself cry. She may have promised herself she wouldn’t cry in front of her team mates and friends, that she would be the strong one, but she was allowing this to be an exception. Her shoulders shook subtly as she sobbed quietly to herself.
Tony stalked into the War Room in Avengers Tower with his arm full of paperwork, hastily shoved into a manilla folder. He wanted to be sure everyone had arrived and dealt with smalltalk before he got in, he was in no mood for interruption.
“Gentlemen. Ladies. I’ve called you here…
Peter, who had been spending most of the meeting trying to get his emotions under control, turned when Johnny placed a hand on his shoulder. It shouldn’t have surprised him that Johnny was willing to help him out, but the fact that he was willing to go as far as risking death spoke volumes to him. Slowly he walked up to the head of the table, the gold and red shining under the fluorescent lights. It was a rare thing for Peter to speak up like this, but this was something that he had partially initiated. Because of this, he felt it necessary to explain himself to the team.
“Guys…..” He began, swallowing the massive lump in his throat. He had to keep his emotions under control, and it was becoming harder now that he was facing the entire team. “I feel like I dragged you into this. I was so freaked out when Clint died, and then when I found out HOW he died, it was just the last straw for me. I was so filled with hate that I wanted to kill Loki, and even Tony. But it’s because you guys cared enough to wonder what I was doing that I’m here with you instead of out there committing some kind of unspeakable horror. I’ll be honest, I haven’t felt that much hate since the symbiote, and I don’t want to repeat that.”
He paused, crafting his words carefully before he continued on. “Clint was my mentor here with the Avengers. He was the one who put me through training, and I want nothing more than to avenge his death and make Loki suffer. I can’t do that alone. Last time I did something like that, I killed a man for a crime he didn’t commit.” He said, turning his gaze to Steve now. “You were a hero to my Uncle Ben. I want to see that hero in action, and I would be honored to hear anything you have to say.”
His blue eyes glisten a little as he listens to Peter speak from the heart. Above all else that’s one of the things next to his unbreakable optimism that he appreciated about ‘Pete, he…much like Steve, was just a good, honest person inside. The last few months have been rough on Captain Rogers, dealing with suddenly awakening in the modern era, the feeling of alienation, the missing hours from his life, the loss of old friends, and the all out battle he had with a man he still calls his best friend. His eyes have always told a story, one of stern determination and unwavering loyalty to what he believes in, but there has always been a sorrow hiding within them ever since his arrival in the time of The Avengers. Losing a friend is never easy, not even for a soldier…not even for a super soldier. Clint Barton had always had glaring personality differences when it came to Steve, but they still got along and confided in one another. Clint had taken him around NYC one weekend, with no ulterior motive but just to be a good friend to him, so he wouldn’t feel as lonely as he often does. Steve was always willing to give him training and tactical advice as well, and fairly often, he learned some things right back from Clint. He now worries he may never get to do any of these things again. Yet another part of him is missing.
“Thank you, Peter. Well—” he seems to struggle with his words at this very moment, much the same. ”I felt a lot of what you felt. I was angry. At the world. I was angry enough with Loki to begin planning an all out invasion of Asgard in response, but I quickly realized the repercussions of what that could mean for us, and the rest of the world, to be so hasty and foolish. If we have learned anything, I hope that it is simply: We do need to unify. Separate egos and pride. Think and re-think our actions before we go rushing out there trying to seek blood for blood. At this very moment, I will confess that I am still trying to figure out a way that we can fight our enemy. But I continuously run into a wall on the “how” aspect of just about every battle plan. This guy does outright malicious and wicked things just for a giggle as far as I can tell, and we know damn well he can alter our reality to his liking. Even going as far as invading our minds as we sleep. I thought the visions he subjected me to were something I would never forgive him for. But his involvement in the slaying of one of my brothers…THAT is truly something I will never forgive him for.”
His hands begin to shake, he’s visibly leaned against the table, a snarl crossing his face, but he realizes he’s allowing himself to get angry once more. That’s not where he needs to be. He takes a moment to breathe and regain composure. ”I guess what I’m trying to say is, for the moment, we have the right idea. One of us may not be able to come up with anything to solve this problem. But all of us as a cohesive unit, I certainly believe we have the brains and the willpower to get the job done. We all need to lean on one another in this time.”
Carol watches in silence as her teammates, her friends take their turns in saying their piece. Watching it, it made her feel a strong sense of pride in the Avengers. This is what they were. They were a team, the worked together. But foremost, they were a family, and that’s what truly showed here, right now, in this room. It would have made Carol feel so warm, it would have been so gratifying… If she still didn’t have that sinking feeling, knowing there was one of them missing here today. Someone wasn’t saying their part. Someone wasn’t sitting right where he should have been sitting. Someone’s witty banter had been silenced…
But as she had promised herself, she would look past that for now to keep herself together. She was still a warrior, and this was a mission briefing. There was no room for tears, as it would only make everyone feel worse. That’s what she told herself as she clasped her hands together in front of her, determined to keep her voice level and calm.
“To be quite honest with you all. I’m not as sure what’s going on here as most of you. But it seems this Loki is the cause of what’s happened. I know we’re all grieving over the loss of Clint, and I know we all want to get some form of revenge on him. But, as I said to Peter not too long ago… We can’t let revenge overwhelm us in battle. I think before we head out there, we need to make sure we’re all ready for the oncoming fight. We need to be sure that someone’s not going to end up making a possibly fatal mistake just because their emotions got the better of them. We’re Avengers. We avenge. But we don’t feed on revenge, and we don’t let it control our actions.” Carol scans the room, glancing at every one of her teammates. Some, her glance lingered on more than others, some that she knew would be burning for revenge. Then, she closes her eyes for a moment, knowing that she too was one of them. “… What I’m saying, is that I think we need to keep in mind that it’s important to make sure we’ve come to terms with what’s happened a little before jumping into the fight all emotional.”
“And as for battle plans and ideas…” Carol leans back into her chair, her hands pulling her blonde hair back and then rubbing her forehead, before waving in the air as a gesture with her words. “I’ve got nothing. I’d say we obviously can’t just go in there with the plan of hitting him fast and hard, which, to be honest, is always one of my favourite plans. But I think we all know it won’t work here. He’s deceitful and cunning, and we’re going to have to put some serious thought into it before we decide on anything. We don’t want to lose anyone else. Hopefully… Hopefully Thor might give us some pointers. Maybe a weakness? I don’t know. I don’t know yet.”
xblackwidowx replied to your post
Tony is capable to handle it by himself, even when he’s drunk
Well, I sorta meant how they seem to be bothering everyone. But Tony too, yes.
